Writing Your Wedding Vows

Let's talk about vows! You are deep into your wedding planning and your future husband or wife has had their heart set on writing their own vows. When I work with our couples, usually one of them is very eloquent in their wording and finds this process so easy. The other person - well, not so much. They may brainstorm, then send their thoughts my way to organize them. Others might need more direction to begin. Here are some questions that you can use to start writing your own vows for your wedding ceremony. For the purposes of this sample questionnaire, I will use  "Officiant", "Lena" and "Adam".

Officiant: Adam, where were you and how did you feel the first time you saw Lena? 

(Adam is instructed to answer as if he is talking to Lena.) 

Sentimental Response: Lena, the first time we met, you were sitting across from our friend Maryann. I had been away at school for my final semester and she had told me about this amazing friend she had. We already planned to get together and she asked what I thought about the idea of meeting you. I was nervous, but excited. Here was this beautiful, smart, incredible woman right in front of me, and I thought I would buckle. You made it so easy though. From day one, you have been easy to talk to, and so mesmerizing with your sky blue eyes. You put me at ease and I felt like I was finally 'home' that first night.

Humorous Response: Lena, the first time I saw you at Academy Distillery in downtown Monroe, I thought I was in heaven. You were there with our mutual friend MaryAnn and the two of you had whiskey flights ready to go. I thought "My dreams have come true! I have been set up with a woman who is gorgeous and drinks whiskey!" 

O: Describe Lena using full sentences or simply brainstorm your thoughts. I will help you put this part together if you need me to.

A: (Brainstorm sample) Loving, beautiful, funny, kind, smart, silly, clumsy, organized, my heart
A: (Full sentence version) When I look at you, I see the loving, beautiful, smart and kind woman you truly are. I am amazed at how silly, funny (and clumsy!) you can be on a daily basis. I appreciate your eagerness to keep our lives organized and I vow to do my best to keep my wet towels off of the floor and my shoes out of your path. My heart is bursting with excitement as today we are here in front of our incredible families and closest friends about to embark on a new chapter in our lives. Thank you for being my best friend and partner in crime. I promise to love you deeply, honestly and faithfully for the rest of my days.

Expanding on Your Vows

The vows above are about a minute or so in length, which is perfect for many couples. If you would like to expand on this and go deeper, you can add some elements. Here are some additional questions you can answer as if you are saying them to your partner on your wedding day. Once you answer them organize them into a flowing format. 

• Was your first date great or a bust?
• What do you have the most fun doing with him/her?
• How does he/she make you laugh?
• Are there things he/she does for you that make you feel special? How does he/she treat you?
• Are there any challenges you have faced that you are proud that you overcame together?
• What are you looking forward to in your life together?
• What is one thing that you would promise to him/her for the rest of your life together? (Going for a little humor here... always console him when his/her team loses? Make breakfast on Saturday mornings (or NOT make meals if you are a terrible cook! LOL You get the gist.)
• List 2-3 things (sentimental/romantic) that you imagine doing together or promises you'll make.